Perspective

"Towards the end of a pregnancy, a mother will wake up to go to the bathroom every few hours. I think this is the body’s way of preparing you for a newborn and the sleepless nights that come along with it. Layla now spends most of her days sleeping. 30-45 minutes after she wakes up, she is ready to lay down and sleep again. Is this God’s way of preparing me for all the quiet time that is coming soon? The house is quiet. I am able to go through the motions of laundry, dishes, cooking and picking up without interruptions. But I WANT interruptions. I WANT Layla to be under my feet asking for cookies. I WANT to hear her playing with her toys. I WANT to take 45 minutes to unload the dishwasher because she keeps trying to help. For every time I uttered the words “I just can’t get anything done with these kids under my feet all day” I am eternally regretful. The days that I looked forward to naptime so I could get a grocery list made, or finally fold all the piles of laundry…I regret those days too. If I could do it all again, I’d enjoy EVERY SINGLE WAKING MOMENT I had with her. I would never wish for her to sit still or take a nap or go to bed early. I would never look forward to the days when she could sit through an entire episode of Dora silently. I would treasure every second with her."

This is an excerpt from a blog I read today. It is about a little girl, Layla Grace, who is 2 and about to lose her battle with cancer. Mike asked me why I read this stuff and my reply was "to put things into perspective".

Last week I wrote a long blog entry about how I was devastated that Gwen wasn't walking at 16 months old. How it broke my heart every time I had to bring her places and she was always the oldest/biggest child there, not walking. How I couldn't stand the look in people's eyes when they saw her crawling around or when they asked me "is she walking" and I had to embarrassingly reply "no". How every time I call my parents, they answer the phone with "Gwen is walking!?!", and it almost brings me to tears. I felt as though I always had to explain her to people..........like something is wrong with her. I never published this blog entry because before I hit "publish post" I realized that I was being absurd. Gwen is perfect in every single way. She is smart, funny, and lights up a room just by being in it. There are so many women in this world who would give anything to have a healthy/happy/beautiful child like Gwen..........walking or not. I should feel nothing but happiness and know that I am the fortunate one, because she is in my life.

I can't even imagine the struggle that Layla Grace and her family have endured. This makes me feel so blessed that I am going to be able to watch Gwen grow up into an amazing/strong woman. In the meantime I am going to enjoy her to the fullest. I am going to take pleasure in the small things like her helping me load the dryer, her fake laugh, her sweet kisses, and the smile on her face when we say it is “hot tub time”. I am no longer going to look forward to bed time or nap time, so that I can be alone or get things done. The day that she takes those first steps on her own; I will be her biggest cheerleader and will continue to enjoy her every step of the way.

Wordless Wednesday

Wordless Wednesday

HAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY!

We had a great Valentine's Day weekend.   We took Gwen to Little Monkey Bizness and she had a blast crawling around and climbing on things.  We saw how truly timid she really is.  She is not a risk taker and we are afraid she will be scared of everything just like her mom. 

We then surprised her with a bunch of balloons for Valentine's Day!  She loved them.  Too bad all but one (a monkey in his boxers which Gwen was afraid of at first) were deflated by this morning. 

Gwen is doing well.  Her daycare provider says that she loves to teach Gwen new things because she is very smart and engaged.  She knows her eyes, nose, mouth, belly button, hair, toes...etc and can now say cat, juice, mom, dad, shoes, hot and a few others that I can't remember.  She also knows the signs for more, sleep, eat, and dog.  She remembers things from day to day which is so much fun.  We taught her how to do "cheers" and now she does it with us at happy hour.  She knows "the itsy bitsy spider", "pat-a-cake", "if you're happy and you know it"....etc.   It is so much fun watching her learn new things and interract with people and the pets.

I am off to start dinner.  We are having mussels and fries.  Wish me luck!  In the meantime enjoy some pictures from this weekend.

15 Month Check Up

We had Gwen's 15 month check up yesterday.  Her stats are:

Height: 31.5 inches (80th percentile)
Weight:  25 lbs 14 oz (88th percentile)
Head:  97th+ percentile

Gwen is a big girl and we love her for that.  The doctor is not worried about her size because she isn't walking yet.  She seems to think she will slim down once she walks.  I will be sad to see the thighs go.  Based on her eating, she no longer needs whole milk, but can drink 1%. 

Gwen had 4 shots yesterday (chicken pox, Hib, MMR, and one other).  She screamed and cried, and was overly dramatic.  She is doing great today though.

I have been waiting 1 year, 3 months, 1 week, and 1 day to hear.........

the word "mama".  She said it last night, directly to me, with authority.  She then said it again this morning when I got her out of her crib. 

Life is good.

Wordless Wednesday